Dan Bilzerian Asked the Internet for a Book Title and got Roasted

Dan Blizerian thinks people love him, they don't

Dan Bilzerian, the male version of an Instagram thot, has apparently been writing his autobiography. This is evidenced by photos he posts on Instagram that show him allegedly typing on a laptop.

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Writing my book

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Definitely not a staged photo. This is most writers.

Bilzerian is a trust fund kid who has laundered a lot of his Dad’s money through gambling. The self-described “King of Instagram” has been posting photos showing off his modern-day Hugh Hefner-esque lifestyle for the past several years. Nearly all of his content features him posing with 10-15 gorgeous models while he shoots guns smokes weed, or sits on private jets and yachts.

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Life before bats

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How can one man be so cool?

He’s a man of leisure who has somehow figured out how to live the fantasy of every 16-year-old boy in America. If you were to glance at his Instagram followers (31.4 million) and generally favorable comments on his posts, you’d think he was a celebrated personality. Dan thought that too.

Turns out everybody outside of young, horny, lonely men don’t like him very much. He propositioned the internet to name his new book, offering $5,000 to the author of the winning title. For somebody that’s made a living off of social media, he really doesn’t understand it. He asked Twitter, the most toxic, angry, hilarious place on the internet, for their ideas. And he assumed that because he has followers, he’s universally beloved.

He got relentlessly trolled by book title after book title that mocked everything from his inheritance to his height to the fact that people think he pays models to hang out with him. It was ruthless. Below are some of my favorites.

Dan Bilzerian Book Titles

The overwhelming negativity is no surprise. Dan is a man that attracts “haters” due to his success and image that is designed to portray an enviable lifestyle. He had some fans jump to his defense with witty comebacks that included “I bet he fucked ur mum” and “You lack a backbone” and “pussy”. They also offered some book titles that weren’t highly critical of Dan that included “Dan Bilzerian: Navy seal to Playboy of the century”, “Dan Bilzerian : the story behind the pictures”, and “Fake It Until You Make It”. His supporters have a lot of qualities, creativity is not one of them.

These positive contributions were a drop in the bucket of hurtful insults sent his way. In typical internet fashion, people started tagging him in ISIS recruiting videos and saying things like this.

They also re-posted photos of Dan without his beard which are highly troubling and not complimentary of his looks.

I will admit I laughed, a lot, at many of these titles (“Mein Kampf” especially) but that no beard photo just….Jesus dude. I would not have guessed that. What started as a harmless, fun social media contest turned into an exhaustive examination of his character flaws.

Why Did He Subject Himself to this?

This may be a case of Dan correlating Instagram activity with adulation. Maybe he thought he was universally adored outside of the young, angry male demographic. That everybody adored his attempts at making them envy his lifestyle and portray the image of a “real man” in today’s society.

The image he’s cultivated could be described as “Pinnacle Douche”. What he’s built is definitely impressive, regardless of where he got his money to begin with, but the image he’s built invites negative criticism. It’s a case study in the worst of what Instagram does to people, making them completely vapid and obsessed with how they look instead of what they do.

He’s basically giving people what they want and taking advantage of man’s worst impulses. Similar to McDonald’s serving up diabetes to billions worldwide because they know we all want cheap, easy, fast, delicious food no matter what’s in it.

He’s not doing nearly the damage they are but he is influencing teenage dudes to value the wrong things. I get it, you don’t have to follow him, but he’s become an “influencer”, people listen to him, and instead of using that to inspire he’s basically putting a middle finger up to all of them and saying “I’m what you wish you could be. Strive to own stuff and bang hot girls, nothing else.”

Again, this is America so he’s allowed to do whatever he wants. But he’s out of his mind if he thinks people love him for it. Quite the opposite. He’s a sore winner that gloats because he’s been handed life on a silver platter. Maybe give back, offer advice, or do something positive with it instead of being so insecure that you start doing squats because people in the comments made fun of your legs.

Being proud of your accomplishments is one thing but his entire persona screams insecurity. This book contest proves he’s either completely delusional or wanted to use this as a marketing stunt and knew the backlash would make him a Twitter trend.

It’s too douchey to be genius. I get that I’m writing about it and if he gets a lot of mentions he’ll accomplish his goal but I certainly didn’t know half of the negative stuff I read before today. And since his ENTIRE personality is based on how cool he looks on Instagram, I can’t imagine that’s good for his brand.

Since he definitely reads the comments and takes them to heart, I’m sure it hurt his feelings. But when you make your whole career off of trying to make others feel inadequate, nobody feels bad for you.


  1. I don’t have anything against Bilzerian. Frankly, 32 million followers means he is still pretty popular and every famous person is gonna have haters. I don’t judge another man’s lifestyle unless they are suppressing another man’s with hate, you’re kinda doing that bruh.

      1. Lol..You definitely don’t sound jealous of Dan Bilzerian. You also probably follow jesus. (Thus meaning you’re weak minded.)

      2. I don’t know why you’re projecting your hatred of Jesus onto me in a blog comments section but I hope it’s helping whatever trauma he caused you. I love you please DM me your number on the side so we can start sexting.

  2. You are such a dumbáss do some fücking research before you go saying shít about people. You are a writer it’s literally your only job. Dan Bilzerian is a down to earth amazing guy who worked his ass off to get where he is and anyone who actually gets to know him instead of just looking at his insta posts would think the same thing. You are a piece of fücking shít for posting this get a life and stop spreading false information about people you are jealous of because you’re an insecure fücking loser

    1. Why do all of your “U”s have umlauts? Also, I’d bet all the money I have that you have never met Dan Bilzerian in your life and are just a weird, obsessed fanboy

  3. Remember what the stoics believed. You said greater meaning so here you go, “It’s not only me that they are hurting it is also themselves.” You made this hate post, so if you think as a writer this is good, do what you must, because you are obviously most intelligent whenever you hate on people. Unequivocally, think about being less judgement first before you go telling other people they are stupid, because that’s simply not very intelligent even for a writer of your stature to do so.

  4. Haha. Great read. I think the comments that are negatively regarded in relation to your article are the proof that he, as you put it is “influencing teenage dudes to value the wrong things”. The only people who have something to say in an attempt to defend this man are people who value Guns, Models and Full Spectrum Hedonism. It’d be hard to take offense to anything anyone says in an attempt to defend him. You know immediately the exact type of person who is sitting behind that screen.

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